#fight

The Big Black Hole………

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black hole

As I age, I am more convinced than ever that the basic human condition really all comes down to a few things.  We all ride around on this big ole blue ball named Earth, circling the sun, which in turn is circling a big black hole (just the term “big black hole” is almost as scary as the monkey bats in Wizard of Oz)  Just think about that – a giant hole which sucks you in and nothing, including light, can escape.  The only thing I can think of to compare to that in the real world is maybe my laundry room.  That evil place in every home that sucks you in and if your not careful will bury you in dirty towels and underwear never to be seen from again.  If you don’t have teenage boys you might not truly understand the fear of being buried in dirty underwear, but trust me here- it’t terrifying!!

Oops- rambling again….  Back to the human condition or at least my opinion on the subject (yes I know all about opinions and assholes so I guess you can say “I’m showing mine”)   🙂

So we are all riding around in this cosmic beach ball party trying to figure out in the simplest of terms “why and how long” we are here.

What I find fascinating about humans is the abundance of ways we come to justify the “why”  Our answers to the why are as diverse as our skin color, origin, etc etc (basically any of those things covered in the “don’t be an asshole” amendment) We need the “why”!  Having a justification of our existence seems to be the only thing that makes sense of the daily drudgery of getting out of bed (much less getting dressed).  There just has to be a reason- it can’t all be for naught.  We need a purpose, we need a direction (some seem to be going in a circle, but that’s a whole different blog), we need a basic rationale to keep floating around the universe.

In my experience, by middle age, most have not only “found” that justification, but have called in the cement truck and not only mortared that baby shut- many (not all)  have now moved on to the “this is the only legit way to believe” phase.   That chapter of development where any new idea is a threat and scarier than an eternity swimming in dirty underwear so even considering the other side of a debate is just a “no-no”.

This is the stage I fondly refer to as the “Show your ass on Social Media” phase. These are the people who spend all day posting their “beliefs” on social media just looking for a fight or trolling for things they disagree with to insult or say “you’re stupid”. This makes me contemplate the idea of imagining we all walked around society with our beliefs tattooed to our heads (or stapled for those I would enjoy doing that sort of thing to)  just looking for a fight? Imagine how this would limit us on who we met and how we interacted with other humans- yet we do it everyday on social media without a thought.

The amount of friendships that have ended over a Social Media exchange of idea’s is as mind blowing to me as the idea of floating around in a giant beach ball party.  I don’t have any friends who believe “exactly” the same as I do on any topic – and to me – that’s what makes it fun. I can disagree and still not think “you’re stupid- an ass maybe, different yes, but not stupid” Just imagine this concept- everyone walking or scrolling right on by or better yet- not saying intentionally extremely controversial things in the first place.

Everybody knows a few people in this phase. Many of these people we actually love. Many of these people in any other setting are delightful humans.   Granted some people come out the womb as a jackass, but for many it seems to be much easier behind a smartphone or computer.  Somehow they feel the anonymity of the environment.  It always makes me want to scream “NEWS FLASH- your name is on it dumb-ass and just because most CHOOSE not to argue doesn’t mean they agree or really even care what you think”  You’ll have about as much luck changing my view with a social media post as I do of going a day with no dirty laundry.

(yes I know I write a blog, but yet- I don’t think anyone really cares what I think on a daily basis- well except my southern mother who is really only worried I’ll say a “bad” word- I just say it to get it off my chest and give the hubby a break)

Now I’m as guilty as any on occasion (some days during football season my social media looks like the ramblings of a lunatic- if the shoe fits – wear it proudly)  I even have friends that politely do what is called “block” me” for 4 months a year and to each his own- I love her anyway!  If she doesn’t wanna hear  “I know kids in kindergarten who tackle better” who am I to say she’s wrong.  She’s not wrong- she just doesn’t care anymore than I care about who you are not voting for in the presidential election or who you want – or don’t want – to pee with!!! I’ve formed my own opinions and hearing yours is really irrelevant to me- but to each his own…..

So back to the “why” of the human condition…..

The answers to the “why” are as multi colored as the cosmic beach balls and much more personal.  They have been created by each of our own experiences.  We each wake up in the morning with our own motivations, beliefs and directions.  What we need to remember is they are ours and ours alone.  If you feel the need to change mine then do you really believe your own?  It’s always at least a good question to ponder……………

So til next time when we’ll look at the “how long” and ponder the benefits of my favorite new philosophy which I am adopting from my friend of “Everyday’s my birthday and every night is New Year’s Eve”.  The hubby will be so pleased……………………………… 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

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Notes To Self

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This morning started off as usual. The alarm went off at 5:30. I grudgingly got out of bed and made my way through the house in the dark saying only a few choice words as I bumped into random things that hurt.  I stumbled down the stairs and accomplished not breaking a bone. I attempt to get the oldest parasite out of the bed and into the shower.  Now that he is a teenager this feat takes more energy than most things I do all day. There is crying, yelling, arguing, throwing blankets and pillows, and jumping around like a monkey- and those are just me. These are all just while he lays there saying the age old “Please-just 5 more minutes Mom” Now at this point I have two choices- I can stumble back through my dark house and hurt myself or just crawl in the bed with him.  Guess which one I pick at 5:30? Well it certainly isn’t the injure myself option.  Something amazing happened suddenly- my mission was accomplished- parasite got up!  I smirk and say to myself “Note to Self”

I’m finding as I go through my life now as a wife, mother, daughter, friend, employee, and in general jack of all duties I am smirking and saying “Note to self” much more often.  “Note to Self” is a powerful thing.  It means you’re learning. I never really thought I would still be learning quite this much in my late 40’s, but I think I am actually learning much more.

You learn lots of “Notes to Self” in your teens and twenties.  These are painful lessons:

1) Lying to your mother when she asks you a question is probably a mute point because she’s asking because she already knows

2) When you stick your head above a crowd they throw rocks at it- the hard part is those darn things can really be the size of boulders

3) Everyone you love isn’t going to love you back (unless they are family and then you’re just stuck with them)

4) Too much alcohol and no food is a dangerous combo and you’ll still probably do it again anyway

5) Smarting off to a policeman is never a good idea unless orange jumpsuits is your favorite outfit (I personally never learned this, but I live vicariously some days through the hubby) 

Now as I age the “Notes to Self” are not as life changing and are much simpler, but happen much more frequently. They are also usually much more amusing to me.

These are just a few I had today:

1) Teenage boys don’t like mommy to crawl in bed with them and will jump up with no arguing.

2) Teenage girls say approximately one million words a second and as long as you listen to at least every ten you will still get the jist of the conversation and as long as you make eye contact and say yes every 100 words you are a GREAT mom.

3) When the toothpaste tube is cut in two on the bathroom counter so a parasite could brush their teeth it might be time to go the drug store and buy toothpaste

4) 11 year old boys should not be allowed to put on cologne unless you want them to smell like a cheap hooker.

5) When there are four prepubescent boys and yelling starts coming from downstairs – there is probably a fight going on and you should probably get up and go down.  If you don’t- they all run upstairs and start yelling at you at once. 

6) Changing my fonts and background on here was difficult for me and I just wanna write funny stuff and not conquer the internet. I can’t conquer my children so the internet is definitely beyond my capabilities.  Hey – it’s also important to know your limitations.

In my twenties most of the lessons were painful and can only be amusing now that time has passed.  In my 40’s the lessons are getting simple and funny.  I can’t imagine the “Notes to Self” I will have in my 50’s and 60’s, but man am I looking forward to them.  We talk a lot about wisdom as we age, but maybe wisdom is just a string of what I call “Notes to Self” 

 

 

 

 

 

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