#underwear
The Big Black Hole………
As I age, I am more convinced than ever that the basic human condition really all comes down to a few things. We all ride around on this big ole blue ball named Earth, circling the sun, which in turn is circling a big black hole (just the term “big black hole” is almost as scary as the monkey bats in Wizard of Oz) Just think about that – a giant hole which sucks you in and nothing, including light, can escape. The only thing I can think of to compare to that in the real world is maybe my laundry room. That evil place in every home that sucks you in and if your not careful will bury you in dirty towels and underwear never to be seen from again. If you don’t have teenage boys you might not truly understand the fear of being buried in dirty underwear, but trust me here- it’t terrifying!!
Oops- rambling again…. Back to the human condition or at least my opinion on the subject (yes I know all about opinions and assholes so I guess you can say “I’m showing mine”) 🙂
So we are all riding around in this cosmic beach ball party trying to figure out in the simplest of terms “why and how long” we are here.
What I find fascinating about humans is the abundance of ways we come to justify the “why” Our answers to the why are as diverse as our skin color, origin, etc etc (basically any of those things covered in the “don’t be an asshole” amendment) We need the “why”! Having a justification of our existence seems to be the only thing that makes sense of the daily drudgery of getting out of bed (much less getting dressed). There just has to be a reason- it can’t all be for naught. We need a purpose, we need a direction (some seem to be going in a circle, but that’s a whole different blog), we need a basic rationale to keep floating around the universe.
In my experience, by middle age, most have not only “found” that justification, but have called in the cement truck and not only mortared that baby shut- many (not all) have now moved on to the “this is the only legit way to believe” phase. That chapter of development where any new idea is a threat and scarier than an eternity swimming in dirty underwear so even considering the other side of a debate is just a “no-no”.
This is the stage I fondly refer to as the “Show your ass on Social Media” phase. These are the people who spend all day posting their “beliefs” on social media just looking for a fight or trolling for things they disagree with to insult or say “you’re stupid”. This makes me contemplate the idea of imagining we all walked around society with our beliefs tattooed to our heads (or stapled for those I would enjoy doing that sort of thing to) just looking for a fight? Imagine how this would limit us on who we met and how we interacted with other humans- yet we do it everyday on social media without a thought.
The amount of friendships that have ended over a Social Media exchange of idea’s is as mind blowing to me as the idea of floating around in a giant beach ball party. I don’t have any friends who believe “exactly” the same as I do on any topic – and to me – that’s what makes it fun. I can disagree and still not think “you’re stupid- an ass maybe, different yes, but not stupid” Just imagine this concept- everyone walking or scrolling right on by or better yet- not saying intentionally extremely controversial things in the first place.
Everybody knows a few people in this phase. Many of these people we actually love. Many of these people in any other setting are delightful humans. Granted some people come out the womb as a jackass, but for many it seems to be much easier behind a smartphone or computer. Somehow they feel the anonymity of the environment. It always makes me want to scream “NEWS FLASH- your name is on it dumb-ass and just because most CHOOSE not to argue doesn’t mean they agree or really even care what you think” You’ll have about as much luck changing my view with a social media post as I do of going a day with no dirty laundry.
(yes I know I write a blog, but yet- I don’t think anyone really cares what I think on a daily basis- well except my southern mother who is really only worried I’ll say a “bad” word- I just say it to get it off my chest and give the hubby a break)
Now I’m as guilty as any on occasion (some days during football season my social media looks like the ramblings of a lunatic- if the shoe fits – wear it proudly) I even have friends that politely do what is called “block” me” for 4 months a year and to each his own- I love her anyway! If she doesn’t wanna hear “I know kids in kindergarten who tackle better” who am I to say she’s wrong. She’s not wrong- she just doesn’t care anymore than I care about who you are not voting for in the presidential election or who you want – or don’t want – to pee with!!! I’ve formed my own opinions and hearing yours is really irrelevant to me- but to each his own…..
So back to the “why” of the human condition…..
The answers to the “why” are as multi colored as the cosmic beach balls and much more personal. They have been created by each of our own experiences. We each wake up in the morning with our own motivations, beliefs and directions. What we need to remember is they are ours and ours alone. If you feel the need to change mine then do you really believe your own? It’s always at least a good question to ponder……………
So til next time when we’ll look at the “how long” and ponder the benefits of my favorite new philosophy which I am adopting from my friend of “Everyday’s my birthday and every night is New Year’s Eve”. The hubby will be so pleased……………………………… 🙂
Family- No Replacements Please
As I’ve said many times- I should not be allowed to watch the news!! It is a confusing and disturbing time of day for me. Today I saw a an 18 year old teenage girl in New Jersey sue her parents to support her because she didn’t want to live by their rules. Now I live in the South and I’ve watched Jersey Shore, but I truly thought those producers sure are good. There could not possibly be that many people that self absorbed – Well – I stand corrected. I have some great friends who are from Jersey and they don’t exhibit this trait, but hell they also moved to the south. Now- I also saw a New Jersey judge throw the case out so my faith has been semi restored
I’m by no means saying my family is perfect. Insanity comes in a takes a long slow stroll through periodically just for fun, but I was taught to respect my elders even if I didn’t want too. The reasons are many but her are a few:
1) They hold all the money so they hold all the cards
I thought I was all grown up about the same age and informed my parents I was leaving. My daddy being the unreasonable man he was promptly went in my room, put my suitcase on the bed, sat down and said “Pack” Now as I’ve told you my dad and I can both be stubborn so I obliged his request. As I folded my first shirt he asked “Did you buy that or did your mom?” I replied “Mom” He said “Put it back- you can take anything that you bought” This exercise was repeated through my entire wardrobe. Needless to say after I finished packing my 3 pair of underwear and one pair of jeans I decided to stay. Pride always cometh before the fall they say- well I fell off the cliff.
2) Youth and Enthusiasm will lose to Age and Treachery every time
When your young you always hear about this stuff called wisdom. You think it’s only a scam that old people say to feel better about getting the wrinkles. As I age I’m realizing there might be something to this thing. Wisdom isn’t really the ability to be wise, scholarly knowledge, or even good judgement. Wisdom is the ability to out maneuver your off spring. The parasites which you carried for 9 months, you fed, you rocked, you changed, you sang to etc etc etc and in general accomplished keeping alive will soon TURN ON YOU! They will think you are now the dumbest human alive. I am not insulted by this phenomena. It actually brings out the evil in me. I remember starting in the business world in my 20’s and having “men” underestimate me and me feeling the evil Grinch smirk form on my face- I get the same reaction now with my teenagers. I now just sit around and formulate plans. My favorite so far – If you get in trouble in any way during middle school- I will come eat lunch with you for a week. I will make a big scene about how cute my babies are and in general embarrass you to death. Two though middle school and no issue’s yet. Why are you crying mama cuz treachery is fun!!
3) Guilt is a powerful thing
My parents and I learned from the VERY best the ability to dispense quilt and it’s power to motivate and manipulate. Now over the years manipulate has taken on an evil context and I don’t understand why. We all manipulate. When we talk our spouse into watching the chic flick instead of the blow em up movie for a little nooky- that’s manipulation. Why is it evil to use it on our children? My Great Granny was the QUEEN!! She demanded command performances for holidays. It went something like this “We WILL be having lunch on Thanksgiving day and you will be there, unless you seem to think you have something more important to do than your family?” These could only be considered optional, at your own guilt free risk. The most powerful guilt manipulation words of all time are “We are disappointed in you” followed up with “if we didn’t know what you were capable of it would be ok” Now I always knew and understood exactly what they were doing and swore I would NEVER parent like them. Guess what I said to my eldest 3 days ago who is failing his first subject ever- yep – word for word! Amazingly it still seems to work.
Our families teach us many things as we grow. We learn respect. We learn to deal with people we don’t like or even understand. We learn to let arguments go because they’re not going anywhere anyway. We learn wisdom, treachery, and manipulation techniques. We learn the roots to keep us grounded and that we really need our wings to sprout so we can get the hell out for a while before we kill each other.
We all from time to time wish we could return or at least exchange a family member or two. Thankfully God made family with a no replacement policy cuz I’m pretty sure I would of replaced all of them by now at least once. Since it’s not an option I guess I’ll just learn and teach the lesson that many a generation have been passing down on to me- unconditional love. If ya can’t beat em might as well join em- and hey- the treachery part is fun!!
REDS WORLD TODAY 