Shooting for Salvation

Posted on

I have lived in the State of Georgia all my life.  I grew up playing in red Ga clay, going to church, family reunions, shooting guns, and chocking on pollen in the spring.  Our version of yellow snow is much different from up north.  Georgia is a great state!  We are the hub of the South with the busiest airport in the world.  We stretch from the Appalachian mountains in the north to the Atlantic coast in the south.  We have large stretches of farmland to one of the largest metropolitan areas in the south. Hotlanta as it is called is is where our State Capital exist covered in a gold leaf dome taken straight out of our mountains. Underneath that beautiful dome is where our lawmakers sit for approximately 2 months a year.  

Now our legislature is one of the largest in the country which is great if you really like to be represented down to your house level, but sometimes can be a challenge if you really want to get stuff done.  Getting an urban representative to agree with a rural representative can sometimes be a little difficult.  The goals and laws needed for those two regions don’t always make sense for each other. 

Now yesterday was the last day of the 2014 legislative session so in a last minute flurry of activity they actually got to work and tried to pass some laws. The main two on the table seemed to be:

1) Medical Marijuana for children with seizures

Many parents with very sick kids have been having to move out of state to get a cannabis oil legally so as not to be arrested for their children with severe seizures

2) Guns for God 

A law enabling citizens to take their guns to church, bars and on some school campuses.

Now I understand that this is the Bible buckle (not the belt- the actual buckle) and some are concerned about any type of legalizing marijuana and we take our guns very very seriously. I personally believe in the second amendment and have no problem with guns. Guns are tools and can be used to feed and protect us. I also have no problem with church, bars, school campuses, or medical marijuana when warranted. 

I just find the difference in these two laws amusing. 

I never realized that there were so many people who wanted to take their guns to church and drinking- much less enough that we needed to pass a law??  Can’t those people just join a church that accepts their guns? If not –  I’ll be glad to start one.  We can call it Shooting for Salvation,  We can gather at the gun range, pray over the ammo, and shoot targets to worship.  The prayers would go something like this:

Oh Lord thank you for giving us the blessed day. Bless our hearts to remain pure, our hands to remain steady, and our guns to shoot straight. Bless this ammo to the nourishment of our souls and our bodies and guns to your service – Amen

Now I know I am making light and if you want to take your gun to church – go for it!  Just preferably don’t sit behind me. If you want to take your guns to a bar drinking- OK- I will pray you don’t lose judgement. Cause we all know that never happens, but if you are convinced it won’t- go for it!  It’s your orange jumpsuit not mine. Orange just isn’t in my color wheel so I’ll leave my piece at home. 

Now in Georgia this is now law, but defined and prescribed medical marijuana oil isn’t.  I know things are never that simple and there were other mitigating circumstances, but come on people you just gotta laugh.

Don’t we all know that a drunk with a gun is always safer than a stoned toddler??  If you didn’t – move to Georgia 





Family- No Replacements Please

Posted on

As I’ve said many times-  I should not be allowed to watch the news!! It is a confusing and disturbing time of day for me.  Today I saw a an 18 year old teenage girl in New Jersey sue her parents to support her because she didn’t want to live by their rules.  Now I live in the South and I’ve watched Jersey Shore, but I truly thought those producers sure are good.  There could not possibly be that many people that self absorbed – Well – I stand corrected.  I have some great friends who are from Jersey and they don’t exhibit this trait, but hell they also moved to the south.  Now- I also saw a New Jersey judge throw the case out so my faith has been semi restored

I’m by no means saying my family is perfect.  Insanity comes in a takes a long slow stroll through periodically just for fun, but I was taught to respect my elders even if I didn’t want too.  The reasons are many but her are a few:

1)  They hold all the money so they hold all the cards

I thought I was all grown up about the same age and informed my parents I was leaving.  My daddy being the unreasonable man he was promptly went in my room, put my suitcase on the bed, sat down and said “Pack”  Now as I’ve told you my dad and I can both be stubborn so I obliged his request.  As I folded my first shirt he asked “Did you buy that or did your mom?” I replied “Mom” He said “Put it back- you can take anything that you bought”  This exercise was repeated through my entire wardrobe.  Needless to say after I finished packing my 3 pair of underwear and one pair of jeans I decided to stay.  Pride always cometh before the fall they say- well I fell off the cliff.

2)  Youth and Enthusiasm will lose to Age and Treachery every time

When your young you always hear about this stuff called wisdom.  You think it’s only a scam that old people say to feel better about getting the wrinkles.  As I age I’m realizing there might be something to this thing.  Wisdom isn’t really the ability to be wise, scholarly knowledge, or even good judgement.  Wisdom is the ability to out maneuver your off spring.  The parasites which you carried for 9 months, you fed, you rocked, you changed, you sang to etc etc etc  and in general accomplished keeping alive will soon TURN ON YOU!  They will think you are now the dumbest human alive.  I am not insulted by this phenomena.  It actually brings out the evil in me.  I remember starting in the business world in my 20’s and having “men” underestimate me and me feeling the evil Grinch smirk form on my face- I get the same reaction now with my teenagers.  I now just sit around and formulate plans.  My favorite so far – If you get in trouble in any way during middle school- I will come eat lunch with you for a week.  I will make a big scene about how cute my babies are and in general embarrass you to death.  Two though middle school and no issue’s yet.  Why are you crying mama cuz treachery is fun!!

3)  Guilt is a powerful thing

My parents and I learned from the VERY best the ability to dispense quilt and it’s power to motivate and manipulate.  Now over the years manipulate has taken on an evil context and I don’t understand why.  We all manipulate.  When we talk our spouse into watching the chic flick instead of the blow em up movie for a little nooky- that’s manipulation.  Why is it evil to use it on our children?  My Great Granny was the QUEEN!!  She demanded command performances for holidays.  It went something like this “We WILL be having lunch on Thanksgiving day and you will be there, unless you seem to think you have something more important to do than your family?” These could only be considered optional, at your own guilt free risk.   The most powerful guilt manipulation words of all time are “We are disappointed in you” followed up with “if we didn’t know what you were capable of it would be ok”   Now I always knew and understood exactly what they were doing and swore I would NEVER parent like them.  Guess what I said to my eldest 3 days ago who is failing his first subject ever- yep – word for word!  Amazingly it still seems to work.

Our families teach us many things as we grow.  We learn respect. We learn to deal with people we don’t like or even understand.  We learn to let arguments go because they’re not going anywhere anyway.  We learn wisdom, treachery, and manipulation techniques. We learn the roots to keep us grounded and that we really need our wings to sprout so we can get the hell out for a while before we kill each other. 

We all from time to time wish we could return or at least exchange a family member or two.  Thankfully God made family with a no replacement policy cuz I’m pretty sure I would of replaced all of them by now at least once.  Since it’s not an option I guess I’ll just learn and teach the lesson that many a generation have been passing down on to me- unconditional love.  If ya can’t beat em might as well join em-  and hey- the treachery part is fun!!