#random

MMN (Manipulative Mom’s News)

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breaking news

Life Lessons I’ve Learned in Quarantine………………….

  • My House is a mess and probably always will be and it is obviously NOT because I don’t have time- it’s a choice I made to live by the Moto “Dull women have immaculate houses and honey I’m any thing but dull”
    • shhh- I’ve learned the right time to remind the hubby of his love for my exceptionalism might not be while he’s vacuuming.. oops
  • Changing PJ’s once a day saves a ton of time on laundry- BONUS!
  • My parasites (children for those nicer than me) are ridiculously spoiled and have absolutely NO ability to see anything out of place unless specifically pointed out. (of course see #1 this could be my fault)
  • My backyard gardening game is starting to be on par with my Grandmothers (God Bless their souls)
  • My life long aversion to animal print was all explained in 6 hours watching Netflix and I would never of guessed that I would ever want to answer my phone with “Hey all you cool cats and kittens” just for fun, but here we are……
  • I admire many many people on Social Media for having much more faith in their fellow human beings than I do..
    • New World Order my ass- we can’t even agree on the one we have…… ūüôā Conspiracy theories don’t scare me -they make me laugh.¬† ¬†The only thing I believe with certainty after 51 years is….if more than 3 people know a secret it’s no longer a secret unless 2 of those are dead.¬† Just the fact that most conspiracy theories would have to consist of many many people to pull off takes them out the realm of reality for me.¬† NO way that many people could agree much less stay quite without running their mouths, but I do appreciate others ability to have that kind of faith in your fellow man.
  • I haven’t read enough comic books or watched near enough movies to actually believe in Super Villains.
    • Are there bad guys in the world- absolutely! Are there evil people in the world – absolutely! Serial Killers with zero empathy come immediately to mind.¬† But there is NO SUCH thing in the real world as a James Bond Super Villain.¬† No one lives in a hollowed out Volcano with an army of minions. Super Villains are made up creations by a FICTION writer to entertain you.¬† Again- would take toooooo many other people and see previous non faith in my fellow man

I don’t scare easily, but I watched a very scary documentary the other night called “After Truth”.¬† ¬†It is basically the premise of the ease of developing 100% fake information and how quickly it can be populated through social media and even scarier show up on actual news channels on occasion .¬† The scary part was the average Americans on BOTH sides of the divide giggling and admitting how easy it is to manipulate us- the more sensationally crazy with or without a kernel of truth the better .¬† This was Americans and doesn’t even include the foreign governments that we proven are in the game to divide us and cause mistrust.

It got me thinking (yes I know kinda scary) If it’s this easy to manipulate us and there doesn’t have to even be a kernel of truth then I’ve gotten off my game.¬† I’m gonna start a new blog that looks like an actual valid news site, but with important headlines sent to my hubby and parasites such as…..

“Statistics show Husbands and Children which don’t pick up their laundry and put it in the hamper will develop hearing loss”

“Dishes left in the sick cause pimples”

“Research proves dirty socks put in hamper as balls will shrink testicles”¬†

“Husbands with more than 3 items on their honey do lists will be nagged” – oh never mind that one has some truth ūüôā

So watch out for MMN the CRAZY new news outlet coming soon to a Social Media Site near you- please feel free to share.¬† If we’re gonna be this easily manipulated shouldn’t it at least be the same way it’s been for thousands of years – Manipulative Mom’s News……………………………

Don’t Get Stuck In The Mud

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Well here I am again sitting and staring at a blank screen trying to decide what to write. My mind is a jumble of random things going round and round in circles at light speeds. This is causing a convoluted string of aimless idea’s with no actual direction or purpose.

Soooo my idea for today’s blog is just to run with them and see where they go. ¬†Sometimes it’s good and sometimes it’s scary, but that’s why there is a delete and draft button.

So here goes:

1) While trying to get a parasite out of the bed this morning I used the age old method of jumping up and down on their bed and singing at the top of my lungs (everyone sing along) “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine” to which the loving little darling yelled “MOM – You are the most annoying mom¬†EVER!” to which I smirked and replied “Yep and it takes a special skill set!” ¬†If they can say “mom” on average of 1 million times a day-¬†jumping on their bed in the morning is definitely fair play.

2) I really want a Southern woman emoji- (for us old people emoji’s are the little smiley faces we use on the internet) There just isn’t a good one for me out there. ¬†I see them that do a little bit of everything, but can someone tell me why there isn’t one with horns holding up a crooked halo? ¬†Let’s face it – who other than a Southern woman can party with you on Saturday night and still get up and go to church on Sunday morning to make mommy happy. ¬†It’s a skill set and we deserve a least a stupid emoji to symbolize our accomplishments.

3) Who decided it was a brilliant idea to put roundabouts in the South. ¬†Come on now- we can barely do four way stops correctly and now you want us to learn roundabout etiquette? Is there even roundabout etiquette? If there is – how does it work? ¬†If you look at the large roundabouts in the world such as Washington DC and London it doesn’t look like there is an etiquette. ¬†It looks like everyone got drunk and decided to drive in circles. ¬†HMMM- maybe we will be o.k with roundabouts. ¬†We know how to drink and drive big ole trucks with big ole tires around in circles. I have the solution- just fill all the roundabouts with mud and we southerns will be just fine!

4) I tried to do a little math this morning and realized math can be scary. I hadn’t cleaned out my personal email box in a few days and decided it was getting out of hand and it was just that time. ¬†Just like most people I get a lot of junk email. ¬†If I ever need Viagra, fill the need to give my money away to scam artist is Africa, or look for a job in New York -I am ALL set. ¬†Sometime I wonder how they even get my email. ¬†It does’t really matter after you get burned once by a hacker you learn quick. ¬†If I’m not expecting it and you want me to open an attachment on an email EVER – I would suggest you either call me or email me without one first. ¬†So I tried to add up the amount of time I spent cleaning out my junk email a week and got some decent number and then multiplied it by 52 for a year and got a little bothered. ¬†If I took that number and multiplied it by the amount of years I might be expected to live and it became a scary number. ¬†I am going to spend an inordinate amount of time doing something very meaningless and then I realized I had spent 10 minutes doing a stupid math problem. ¬†Darn it- I want that time back!!

Where there is your daily glimpse into the scary world of navigating my brain. It’s random and a little odd, but who wants to be normal? We are all made up of assorted differing thoughts running around in circles through our brains. Sometimes they work together and sometimes they just get in the way. ¬†Imagine how boring the world would be though if we all thought in straight lines. Straight lines do not bend or deviate from a path.¬†Straight lines have no imperfections. ¬†Us humans have flaws and inadequacies that force us to giggle at the roundabouts of life. The trick is to not get stuck in mud.