I’m a Grilled Mama Sandwich!!
I have never liked being sick. I would rather be lazy. It takes some skill to avoid doing work, but being sick there is no options or skill. You lay in bed for sometimes days with nothing to do that’s even remotely fun. Your muscles feels like you have done P90X for three days straight, but your body gets none of the benefits. If I’m gonna be that sore- damn it- I want some pay-off!!
I have always needed (no required) 3 things when I am sick. I neeeed tomato soup and grilled cheese, banana popsicles, and most importantly- my Mama. I am aware that some of my requests during sickness are a little odd. Tomato soup is my just my favorite. You people can keep your weak chicken and noodle, bring me something that sticks to my ribs. Banana popsicles are probably the most interesting. When I was a child my grandfather loved to spoil me and I was a little gullible. The man convinced me that banana popsicles can cure anything and it seemed to work- so if it ain’t broke don’t fix it. The by far most important ingredient to my cure all is my Mama.
I know some people call them Mother out of respect and that is fine. To us in the South we don’t have Mothers – we have Mama’s! Until I was grown, my Mama spent countless days and nights with me getting medicine, getting me cool wash rags for my forehead, making me food, and holding my hair back while I threw up. The culmination of all of this was to snuggle me up next to her in her bed for the night. For a child who hurts or feels like their body is revolting against them- this bed seemed to always make it feel better. Mama’s have that super power when they choose to use and unleash it’s ability. Now above I said til I was grown- SHHHHH- I still make my Mama lay down with me at 46 when she comes in to bring me my tomato soup and banana popsicles. A Mama’s job is never done!!
Now that I have my own parasites and I’m the Mama it’s amazing how things never change. The only things that changed is now I really understand what my sweet, innocent, loving, caring mama was “really” thinking during all of those long nights. No- mama’s never say it – we only think these things. We keep going and are sweet because it’s not their fault they’re sick and we are the Mama. These never slip out – but don’t even try to say you’ve never had one of them slip accidentally through your brain
1) Really?- of course your sick- I have an early morning meeting
2) 2 am- Where the heck is that stupid measuring cup? oh here’s a spoon and it’ll work -it’s close. Will they ever be able to take pills?
3) Oh God please let them make it to the toilet
4) Oh God- you must hate me tonight cuz now I’ve got to clean that up and I’ll puck too
5) “Yes- I’ll get the flashlight” Brain- because the 101 fever isn’t telling me your throat looks bad anyway
6) How the HELL is he sleeping through this?
Now I still pull my sick babies in my bed and cuddle them to unleash the super power. Ladies we have so few- we need to throw them around whenever possible. Our Super Powers have a direct correlation with- if the parasites take care of us when we’re old. I’m looking forward to getting kicked out of the old folks home for lewd behavior just to hear their argument on who has got to keep me 🙂
When they were little cuddling them up in my bed was wonderful. We had a king sized bed and they took up just a little room. I would tuck them in, cuddle them up, and we would all sleep. (Well at least try between the sick whining). Recently something has changed I wasn’t expecting- my children aren’t so little anymore. They are or are close to full size adults. The small portion they used to take now is a full twin size. This wouldn’t be so bad except I now have to sleep in the middle. I call these nights – “The Mama Sandwich” I now spend these nights slammed between my cuddling husband and a sick child. This equals long nights of sweating because of my own child personal radiator, rearranging of towels for maximum protection, and sleeping in “the wet spot” from the cool washrag that fell off his head and landed under my shoulder. My favorite part of the whole Mama Sandwich experience is that- now the love of your life, who has successfully managed to snore through the previous 5 hours of sickness, now wakes up “happy” cuz your are sleeping too close. He rolls over and says- “Why are they in here?” My last answer was my favorite “Well because at 2 am I decided to wake the child up, stick my finger down his throat, make him work out so he was radiating heat, so that instead of being the standard Mama Sandwich I could be a Grilled Mama sandwich- it’s obviously been my life’s dream” After a little giggling and checking the radiators temperature and thinking we were on the uptake- the next one shows up and says the dreaded “Mama I don’t feel good”. Oh well – I guess the Grilled Mama Sandwich is back on the menu.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged #adults, #banana, #child, #cures, #grilled, #lewd, #mama, #menu, #mother, #popsicle, #sandwich. #tomatosoup, #sick, #snuggle, #south, #superpower, #sweating, #wetspot.