Today I was sitting eating lunch and there was a cute little picture above the table with a couple of toads. These three cute little toads were arranged side by side and one was covering his eyes, one was covering his ears, and one was covering his mouth. It started me thinking about the saying- See no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil. This is a great concept we should all strive for, but is it really practical or even remotely possible.
I decided to spend the afternoon trying to accomplish this monumental task.
When my youngest parasite came home and decided to play ball in the house- I covered my eyes and walked away. When I heard the lamp break from the other room – I covered my ears. When I came out and saw the mess – I just covered my mouth before I could let my normal loving caring words toward my little nightmare slip out. Now so far I am impressed with my new found super abilities so I decide to keep it up.
When the oldest parasite came home I went down to his room to check on his day – because as we all know teenager boys love to talk to their mothers. When I saw his dinner plate from last nights dinner still on his bedroom floor- I covered my eyes and walked away. When I heard the strangers bad language coming out of his computer game speakers – I covered my ears. When I went down to say goodnight and the dinner plate was STILL sitting on his floor, I covered my mouth in order to avoid sharing more of the bad language with him he had heard earlier.
Now I am incredibly proud of myself so I think it’s a great idea to continue. When my middle parasite gets home and I notice her shorts are entirely too short and her shirt is showing more cleavage than I even have- I covered my eyes. When I hear song lyrics coming out of her room which are degrading to women I just cover my ears and when she over steps her bounds and her mouth smarts off to me- I just cover my mouth in order to not yell back or punish her.
Then a little thing hits me- What the HELL am I doing??? You can’t parent and EVER live up to those ideals.
See no evil?? You better keep your eyes wide open and look for the evil even if it’s not there. They are kids and their brains aren’t developed to the extent of yours. They don’t see evil and are counting on you to see the evil and protect them and steer them in safe directions. If you don’t see the evil – trust me they won’t.
Hear no evil?? You better keep your ears as open as your eyes. Listen to the parasites! Spend one on one time with them- even when they do their best to avoid. If you listen they will, in their own ways, tell you about the evils they are facing. They usually crave direction when they are confused. Let them tell you and work with them to avoid the evils.
Speak no evil? Now this one is the most tricky and the one most parents have difficulty. This is the one that is more like a tight rope. You don’t want to teach them to be judgmental, but you also want to teach them. You do not want to be degrading, but make sure they know they don’t know everything yet. Let’s just clarify here that punishment is not evil. Punishment for bad behavior is a protective maneuver. Neither is teaching them the age old saying “Fly with the crows – get shot with the crows” or Lay down with dogs and you’re gonna get fleas” You aren’t being judgmental- you are being protective. Let’s face it- the statements are true.
So after my day of striving to See no evil, Hear no evil, and Speaking no evil the only thing I’ve learned is it might work with strangers, but it certainly shouldn’t be implemented as a parenting style. So I’m going to change it to SEE ALL THE EVIL, HEAR ALL THE EVIL, AND SPEAK THE TRUTH!