This is my long awaited and highly anticipated sequel to “The Irreverent Life Lessons I’ve Learned” Yes I do know it’s only been about 24 hours, but a girl is allowed to be a legend in her own mind if she wants. I’m not a legend anywhere else so I may as well be here 🙂
6) Your parents will always know how to push your buttons best because they installed them
My daddy and I have always had an uncanny knack of saying or doing exactly the one thing that will piss each other off the most in any given situation if we choose. He has a way a dispensing guilt that could make any catholic nun or priest green with envy. When I was in my late teens and early twenties we would go long periods of time without speaking because we both could be downright stubborn. We once went about a year speaking only though my mother because we didn’t agree on something. I learned to turn it on him by doing the most stupid stubborn thing I could find that he ended up having to pay money to fix. I once turned a $40 brake job, I needed and wouldn’t ask for help, into a $600 brake job. It’s hard to get the brake pad bases to go all the way through the rotors. The gentlemen in the brake shop in Athens, a college town, advised my daddy it was the worst he had every seen. I took that as a win. His wins were different. He says he won when my brain came back in my middle 20’s when I actually broke down and called him for work advice. We still dispense our brand of abuse on each other on a daily basis, but now we typically understand that when we push those buttons it’s our way of saying I Love You and we smirk at each other and move on. I had to move on – I have kids now and my own buttons to install. My daddy really considers that his win!!
7) It’s always the quite ones
This is a relatively new lesson I have learned that I think my guy friends have been hiding from me for years! They felt the need to teach me every derogatory term out there for women, but not this- hmmmm? If you don’t already know I now sell Pure Romance products on the side. Just so you understand what Pure Romance is- I go into ladies homes and have private girl parties where I show and display shave creams, lotions, and yes – sex toys. I have always been a “to each his own kinda gal” and “if it feels good and you and your partner are comfortable with it-go for it” I have a blast doing it. I make good money and laugh for about 4 hours. However; it’s taught me this lesson in spades. You always have the group of girls who are loud during the party, talk about sex openly and have a ball. Then there is always that one in the corner who looks miserable and incredibly uncomfortable. Then you move to the private ordering room. The loud and open girls buy the discreet, tame, and basically normal things. That quite, reserved, and uncomfortable corner sitter notoriously asks immediately for the bondage kit. Now I have no issue at all with either girl and am proud of each for owning their own sexuality, but I now have a totally different respect for those men who married the quite ones. Maybe they knew what they were doing!!
8) Baseball caps are the new 40’s chic
Ok- I own and wear a lot of baseball caps and visors in my 40’s. My friends are mostly baseball hat wearing women also. I have one for everyone of my kid’s schools, sports teams, and interests. I also have one for everyone of my interest and some with just funny sayings. It’s amazing the things you accumulate with age. We counted the other day and I think between my husband and I we have over 100 hats. If anyone ever breaks into my house they don’t need my social security card to steal my identity- they can tell everything about me and my interest by my hat collection. If ya got em flaunt em! Now this baseball hat tradition for me probably started with spending an inordinate amount of time at football, baseball, lacrosse, soccer, etc etc etc fields in the sun. Being a red head there are only two options- a hat or a burnt face. The hat wins! I have also learned they hide lots and lots of stuff. For example; boy has to be taken to school at 6:30 am for practice- hair in hat for me. Bangs misbehaving- hat for me. Need a haircut- hat for me. Didn’t quite get that shower in- hat for me. Ball field for 8 hours- hat for me. The great part is not only do they hide the flaws- there’s one for every mood, every adventure, every event, and every outfit! Baseball hats are definitely the new 40’s chic. If your not on board ladies your missing the fashion train!
That’s all for now – til the next highly anticipated sequel!!