I shouldn’t be allowed to watch the news!!

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Do you remember being little and 12 pm, 6 pm, and 11 pm rolled around? Those were the dreaded times of day where the parents commandeered the “1” TV you had in the house. There were only about 5 channels to choose from and 3 of them were showing the NEWS. There was occasionally crying, temper tantrums, and a great 30 minutes of depression because you were gonna miss the episode where Jan and Marsha had a fight or the professor almost got Gilligan off the island.  Those news channel programs were incredibly boring to us because they actually just “GAVE YOU THE DAILY NEWS”  They were usually 30 minutes and were filled with actual FACTS.

The news today is quite different.  The news today is entertainment.  I don’t even know why they produce sitcoms anymore because the news in itself can be down right hysterical.  I can watch news now 24/7 on about it seems 100 channels.  Now I know 100 may be a stretch, but not by much.  Even the major networks are willing to interrupt their regularly scheduled programs for over 24 hours to report on a snow storm in Atlanta?  Seriously- it’s a snow storm-  after an hour we got the fact it is snowing.  I really don’t need 24 hours of news to understand something I can look out my window to see. I laugh a lot at the descriptive words they use.  It always reminds me of the immortal words of Inigo Montoya in the Princess Bride “You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”  A snow storm in Atlanta which will melt in 3 days is not exactly catastrophic.  Shouldn’t that word be reserved for losing homes and lives,  I’ll give ya catastrophic for hurricanes, tornado’s, floods- ya know actual natural disasters.  Snow storms- hmmmm??  

An actual 30 minute news program today is actually about 5 minutes of facts and 25 minutes of making a mountain out of molehill as my granny used to say.  Let’s pick a topic, give one side of the facts, and then harp on it til we get everyone in a tizzy.  Ya now- wind em up like a top!  I swear they must sit around and just laugh at the ignorance most days.  I’m guilty too- there are nights I watch and my head almost explodes, but usually I find the comedy.  Last night was one of my favorites- they tell exactly where the incident happened, they tell us the lady they are interviewing lives two doors down, they tell us her full name, they interview her and show her hands because “she doesn’t want to be shown on camera”.  After giving her location and full name did she think she was incognito?

The comedy in the 24 hour news channels could fill a book- much less this little blog!!  They are actual 24 hour sitcoms all to themselves. Most of the 24 hours is spent having what I call “prize fights”  Let’s get two people who have 180 degree opposing views and have absolutely no ability to compromise and put them on a panel and turn them loose.  The funny part is watching the commentator “who always has an agenda depending on the channel” do their best to make one look dumber than the other.  We used to call a 2 on 1 fight unfair- now we call it the news.

The world is a funny place when you look for the humor.  Next time you watch the news- don’t fall for the wind up up like a top trap- watch for the funnies!  I promise it’ll make ya laugh. 🙂

 

 

 

Well I’m here- now what???

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Well I’m starting this new adventure of blogging!! If you would of asked me 2 years ago what blogging was I probably would of laughed and made a sexual innuendo joke (You’ll learn I do that A LOT) I’m convinced turning the mundane into a sexual innuendo is a skill. I don’t have many skills, but God gave me that one in abundance!! 🙂 I haven’t found one I couldn’t do yet!!

I believe my family is a little concerned by the looks of actual terror on their faces! The hubby just shakes his head (you’ll learn he does that A LOT) Needless to say my kids are not too thrilled with this “mom blogging idea”. Their exact words went something like “seriously mom everyone knows every dumb thing we say and do because of Facebook now- the last thing you need is more space to write!!” My reply was “well Facebook doesn’t have enough room for all the dumb things you do- sooo here we go!!”

Look – I’m about to have three teenagers and go through menopause. At this point, I’m looking for any way possible to keep them alive for at least the next 7 years and the I think this may be therapeutic. Hey and if it’s not therapeutic at least it’s somewhere new to embarrass the kids (it’s the only joy of motherhood I’ve found) 🙂