Karma- Ain’t She A Bitch

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I try to never write when I’m really upset. I try to wait a few days so I can calm down and think of a funnier way to get to the point. I usually try to be funny yet pointed cause I find if I construct about ever few sentences for someone to laugh it’s not nearly as controversial. Most people (or maybe just me) seem to take criticism or constructive criticism much easier when given with a few laughs. You know that great song -everyone sing along- from Mary Poppins “A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, the medicine go down, the medicine go down”  We can say as a society that news channels, news papers, drama’s or even reality TV changes our society, but comedy is what makes many actually examine what they find funny and change their perspectives. It can never change a belief, but it does help in the examination.

I’ve only found one bitch that seems to have a more messed up sense of humor than mine and her name is Karma! She has always been one of my favorite comedians. She is the best I’ve ever seen at making people eat their words. She can serve up a whole big ole plate of humble pie better than any professional chef. I’m convinced she just sits around having a glass of wine with her wolf like ears perked up just waiting for some unsuspecting human to say something stupid so she can make them eat their feet. She is the epitome of “open mouth -insert foot”  My daddy only preached to me about one thing ever. It could be the only thing I really ever heard, but I’m going with preached. All he ever said was “Child listen to me closely- NEVER EVER  say my child will not cuz you made me eat every word. Just don’t do it and maybe they won’t.”

As I said my daddy preached this so many times in my life- I have NEVER EVER said it cuz that lady named Karma scares me. I’m not scared of many people or things. The very short list of things I’m scared of are:  my parents, my ancestors rolling over in their graves, the monkey bats from The Wizard of Oz, Freddie Kruger from Nightmare of Elm Street, Jaws, and Karma.  Every now and then my hubby will get brave during a children conversation and stick his chest out and say something like “My child will” and he wakes up 15 minutes later after the “thunk” of the flip flop hit him in the head.  I don’t throw things at the hubby (often), but you can bet a flip flop flies at his head before even half of the statement gets out of his mouth. I’m already “payin” for both of our raising the last thing I need is Karma to come bite me in the ass times two!!

The only other thing I’ve found that can change a person’s perspective faster than comedy is that sweetheart I call Karma. She just sits around waiting with that evil smirk on her face for you to say something stupid. Trust me- just pick someone that does something you don’t understand today. Condemn their behavior. Tall about it a lot to anyone who will listen (gossip about things you don’t know for those of you confused). I promise as soon as you do Karma will pick someone you love to punish for your arrogance. It may be your child, your sibling, your spouse, your parent, your cousin or your best friend, but trust me you will learn to accept and understand the behavior because she will pick and punish someone who you will love unconditionally to prove a point. That’s her sense of irony and you put it out there and you can’t tell me you never heard the term “Karma’s a bitch”? You just choose to take her on and lost!

There’s an old saying about people that live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones and in reality don’t we all live in glass houses. Are any of us perfect? Isn’t a glass house just a protective barrier we all build against the world so we can go to bed and say “Thank God that’s not us” Even if our houses aren’t broken, do any of our windows not have a few spots or cracks?  One of my favorite southern sayings has always been “Well bless their heart” which applies to those people out there testing my friend Karma-good luck with that!! For those of you who know better than to mess with bigger stuff than yourselves my second favorite saying is the “There for the grace of God, Go I! Trust me -when you have to go down the more difficult road it’s always less painful to travel without the taste of your boot leather in your mouth! 

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