It’s another travel day for moi! I have always called these times the planes, trains and automobile days, but I am making an executive decision in my own brain to change the name to “Me walking my ass off day.” Now trust me my ass could use some walking off, but that should be voluntary and done on my own time not forced on me by some evil travel god who I must of pissed off in another life.
I want to know who these people are that get the first four gates in the terminals? I have never gotten one in my whole life. I’ve never even gotten a gate in the middle of the terminal. If you fly with me you can bet your bottom dollar we will be at the very end of the terminal coming and going especially if I’ve got a bunch of crap.
Now that I think about it I’m really not sure if I’ve ever seen one of those first four gates even being used. Maybe the airport just puts them there as a tease for those old and tired people like me. Those close gates just sit empty all day saying “haha you can sit here, but we are just really a rest stop before you have to carry all that shit in heels the other 1/2 a mile to your destination waaaaay down there at the end”. I swear it says “nanny nanny boo boo.” I look around and it seems no one else heard it so I refrain from sticking my tongue out at it- people might think I was weird.
Well today I just didn’t care. As I started the trek down the terminal with a heavy laptop bag, purse, and heels and realized I again was at the very last gate I just stopped at the first gate (which was empty shocker) and stuck my tongue out and shot it a bird and said “right back at cha”. Still had to walk the half mile, but hey I felt better and the looks I got were priceless!
So I’m sitting here in a full tin can that feels like its about 1000 degree’s trying to figure out if I’m having a hot flash or if it’s just damn hot in here. Having a middle seat in a full plane is never my idea of fun, but when you have begun to glisten with sweat like a cold glass of sweet tea on a hot summers day it just makes it ever more joyful. I’m wondering if I’ll leave a ring – maybe I should have a coaster now too? I look around the plane and no one else seems to be fanning themselves rapidly, but – note to self- I finally found an actual use for the safety brochure that no one EVER reads. All I can say to the safety directors at Delta is bless you for the fan and please don’t move it to digital til I’m done with the change.
That’s the fun thing about middle age – I’m finding so many uses for items I had never really thought of before. In my younger days ice in your bra or underwear could be fun- now it’s almost as good as air conditioning. My ice maker now doubles as a hat and my whole head can almost fit. Fans can be made out of almost any item in a pinch. Hell- I’ve even used my laptop in desperation once.
Well they finally turned the air on in this tin can which I’ve also learned can be used as hair dryer – so until next time………….